Bye old treehouseš”!Feels special to share a view of the space thatās taken me through such deep isolation. Iāve lived alone for years in different places, though here, Iāve relearnt with new urgencyā in the midst of panic, how do we bring our inside views out and keep connected?
Iāve been finding versions of home here for a year and a half. The longest Iāve been in one spot siiiince...2012?!? This isolation station encouraged me to confront where I am and where Iāve been by locking down my options into sitting still in the silence of tough times. I found & carried in 99% of this furniture myself from around Toronto streets, &with paint and care itās all welcomed me into being able to feel settled. Here, Iāve found how to feel safe even when trapped.Iāve felt SO grateful to be here.so I wave bye to this space now with twisting nostalgia, also seeing it as the place where fear grew and isolation became constriction again.
Inside, thereās the hidden behind the walls parts. Hereās my view at the window. Looking out. Remembering to make noise.
The day before the world shut down i had an audition that felt like home. We chatted, we laughed, i felt welcome. I felt THERE. And I felt WITH people. I was asked to try singing as if I was sitting alone at home. 2 months later, I pressed record while I did just thatāin the quiet of quarantine. I was terrified about being heard through the wall and being loud in my own space. In those 2 months, I hadnāt been with anyone to hear me speak aloud for all that time. And it was still just the beginning.
A year on from these videos at the window, and hereās that shaky isolation voice, finding home in a heard way. Because of YOU. And. Thatās PRETTY MAGICAL. That we can DO that for each other!! Not only can we see together from a distance... but we can even beat the distance of time. Looking with care to let unseen pasts grow with new strength toward the light š±āļø
(&Please do enjoy the frolicking jig...accompanied by THE MOST solemn face ya ever did see. Just some embodied pandemic energy, in a static race trying to harmonize with myself& catch up to those melody parts i was able to play in the pastš
ąøąø§ąø²ąø”ąøąø“ąøą¹ąø«ą¹ąø